koko ni iru yo

Friday, October 01, 2010

I’m so damn tired with all of this examinations thingy recently.

It feels like I have no air to breathe. I’m not the type of a diligent student you may imagine, but how awful if I got the worse scores during the test. So I did my best. And then, the result is... I got an excellent class! Yeay! I still just can’t believing. Then I think I need lots of refreshing. So to fill my spare time, I’d rather read comics and try to learn how to draw Mangaka. That’s how it works. By the way, I want to share something that no one could ever understand about me. The new and real me.

Now I know what it feels like to be Sumino-san.

I love being alone. I’d love to walk just by myself in the street, thinking so many stupid or maybe kinda proper thoughts. I don’t care if it’s rainy over there. As long as I’m alone, I won’t take it seriously.

I was realizing that I need no friends. I’m okay. I’m not pretend to be stronger or being such a jerky traitor. But deep down here, I feel not so okay with some problems that I can’t handle. I know, there are lots of ‘friends’ beside me. We know each other, play games together, and share much laughter. But I just understand what makes me feel this lonesome. I know they’re always there, but I just can’t feel them here. Friends are just another un-eternal things that come and go. It’s kinda waste efforts to act cool and nothing’s going.

It just happened and simply run like that through I’m trying to fix everything start from now on. I’ll forget about it and just be myself. My ‘own’ self. That everyone never realized before. That anyone would hate, and pass through times…

I need... To be found and saved too.

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